wow… so…

i’m pretty sure i just kind of lost my mind. I was talking to monty and all of a sudden i got really sad and all the bad things that have been happening over the past month or two piled up on me and i started crying. all i could think about was going home and for some reason i HAD to go home right then. so after i got off the phone with monty i called my house and no one answered naturally because it was 1:30 in the morning. then i called my dad and luckily he was just getting off work. so we talk for a while and he decides i can come home for the weekend. honestly though… i cant say im happy. im leaving in 3 hours to go to the train station, but i just cant get rid of this feeling of failure. im going to have to miss three days of work in order to do this and im pretty sure im going to lose my oh so wonderful job. im saying its for a family emergency but the thing is…its more of an emily losing her mind emergency. i have no idea whats wrong with me and i hope i can change it while im home. im honestly not too worried about losing my job though. its costing me more money than its worth and i think its adding to my stress. i really wish things were different and i didnt have to call them up in a few hours though. i know theyre going to be really pissed off and im not looking forward to the conversation at all. i feel like i just need to be with my family though. my boyfriend and a few friends would really help too. i have no idea why im feeling the way i am lately. maybe i can figure it out while im home. i dont know